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FOCUSING:
Selected Essays 1974-1999
Sample Chapter
The
Integration of Focusing with Other
Body-Centered Interventions
In
the first volume of this Journal several traditions in Body Psychotherapy
were enumerated. There is the thread that starts with Reich. There is
the thread that starts with movement (e.g. the Pessos). There is the
thread of Asian bodywork. And there is the thread of the synthesizers
(e.g. Hakomi and Rubenfeld Synergy).
There
is at least one further thread that deserves mention. This is the thread
that comes out of phenomenological/existential philosophers such as
Huseerl, Heidegger, Kierkegaard, Merleau-Ponte and Sartre (Gendlin,
1973, pp.317-319.) Although they are philosophers, there is now a psychological
method that comes out of their work. That method is called Focusing.
Focusing
is a way to make direct reference to one's bodily felt experiencing
process (Gendlin, 1981). The person focusing closes his/her eyes. The
guide directs the person's attention down into the trunk of the body
where a felt sense of the issue being focused upon is allowed to form.
Focusing gives one moment-to-moment experiencing of one's existence.
Over thirty studies show that the ability to focus correlates with positive
outcome in psychotherapy.(Hendricks, 2002 )
But
the body is not just an experiencing process. It is also muscles, arms,
legs, feet firmly on the ground. As readers of this journal have seen,
there are other approaches to the body besides Gendlin's, What happens
when focusing is combined with interventions that come from these other
body-centered approaches?
What
do I mean by body-centered interventions?
Robert
E. L. Smith, in his 1985 book, The Body in Psychotherapy quotes approvingly
from Jung: "...psyche depends upon body and body depends on psyche."
(vii) He goes on to say that "A major trend during the past fifteen
years or so has been the bringing of the body into psychotherapy."
(Smith, 1985, p.IV)
This
trend has accelerated since the publication of Smiths book. Bioenergetics,
gestalt, psychomotor, radix, Reichian orgonomy, and, most recently,
hakomiand the combining of theseare now, more than ever,
one accepted part of the overall therapeutic landscape. I agree with
Smith: "All of these approaches are of value, and not one of them
is a complete system having a total perspective on psychopathology,
growth, and learning" (1985, p. vii).
But,
when these several approaches are integrated with focusing, then one
has what I will call a vibrant and effective body-oriented, focusing-oriented,
person-centered experiential therapy.
It
is the task of this essay to describe such a therapy.
Notice
that it is the combining of methods rather than a monogamous relationship
to any one that is characteristic of this approach to therapy. The emphasis
in the combining can vary. After introducing the concepts of "hard,"
"soft," and "expressive" body-centered techniques,
Smith writes, "I do a body-oriented Gestalt therapy, integrating
aspects of Reichian, neo-Reichian [hard], and other body-focused growth
methods in the context of the therapist-patient relationship" (1985,
p. vii). Whereas I would say I do a focusing-oriented/person-centered,
experiential therapy integrating hard, soft, and expressive body techniques
along with reflections of feeling, probing questions, feedback, interpretations,
personal sharings, and statements of support and affirmation within
the context of a Rogerian-like therapeutic relationship.
II
There
is no universally agreed-upon categorization of body-oriented therapeutic
methods. I like the classification introduced in Smiths book.
He talks of "soft," "hard" and "expressive"
body-centered techniques. I want to take them up in turn, define and
describe several of them, and show some ways to combine them with focusing
.
Of
"soft" techniques, Smith writes that they "tend to be
gentle and allowing rather than forcing... [they] tend to be subtle.
The things which happen, such as increased body awareness, psychological
regression, increased experience of emotion, and expression of emotion,
do not happen as quickly or as dramatically [as with the other two categories]...
the soft methods are safe...." (p. 115)
Hakomi
probes, work with posture, touching, and work with the breath are examples
of "soft" technique. See Table 1. Tables are based on material
in Smith (1985)}
Table
1 Soft Technique
| Characteristics: |
gentle
and allowing
subtle
safe
may or may not include physical touch |
| Results: |
increased
body awareness
psychological regression
increased experience of emotion
expression of emotion
contact, empathy, nourishment
access and deepening of inner experience |
| Examples: |
posture
touch
breathing
Rogerian listening
focusing
hakomi probes
guided inner experience |
I
want to illustrate the combining of focusing with (1) touch and (2)
hakomi probes.
1.
Focusing and Touch1
Focusing-oriented therapy that is body-centered grows naturally out
of verbal focusing/listening therapy. It was Gene Gendlins discovery
that certain words, phrases, and images have an "experiential effect."
When they are said by the clientor said back to the client by
the therapistthey carry experiencing forward. The "talk therapist"
tries to say such words. He directs his verbal articulations at the
felt sense of the client. When his words "hit the mark," so
to speak, verbal therapy moves forward.
It
is only a small step to "hands on" body therapy. The link:
Focusing involves the body. The felt sense is in the body. It is real.
It is bodily felt. What distinguishes verbal focusing therapy from "just
talking" (or "just imagery") is that it is bodily.
Since
focusing is bodily, it makes sense that the focusing therapist would
make use of body interventions.
For example,
the "body-oriented focusing therapist" uses touch to:
a) anchor the felt sense
b) amplify the felt sense
c) help the felt sense move, thereby facilitating a felt shift
Anchoring
the felt sense: The client has identified a felt sense in her chest.
"Its here," she says, pointing to her chest. With her
permission, the therapist places her hand gently on the place the client
has pointed to. This helps anchor the felt sense. It helps the client
stay focused. The therapists hand says, "Keep your attention
right here."
Clients
who are focusing do have difficulty in keeping their attention on the
felt sense. They lose it. They wander. They get distracted. They talk
about the weather. The therapist, by putting a hand on the felt sense,
can help keep the client "on beam"tuned into the felt
sense.
Amplifying
the felt sense:The therapists touch also helps by increasing
the "volume" of the felt sense. We all have energy. When the
therapist touches the place where the felt sense is, she sends energy
directly to it. This amplifies the felt sense.
For
example, during focusing a client said he had a pressure in his stomach.
The therapist asked if he could put his hand on the clients stomach.
(Notice this "asking" way of introducing touch; focusing-oriented
therapy is a very careful and client-respectful therapy.) The client
said yes. The therapist placed his hand on the clients stomach,
waited, and then asked, "What are you experiencing?" The client
responded, "The pressure feels sharper, clearer. I can sense it
better."
Helping
the felt sense move (shift): The therapist can use her touch to
help the felt sense move. When a felt shift comes at the end of a round
of verbal focusing therapy, some way that the body has been carrying
its troubles actually changes, shifts, moves. It seems miraculous, at
first, that words, distal as they are, can do this. Not surprisingly,
touch, properly applied, can do it, too.
For
example, the clients felt sense was something pushing down on
his chest. The word for it was "burdened." The therapist used
his touch to "imitate" the felt sense. He pushed downhardon
the clients chest. The client reported he felt some "give"
inside. Then, as he continued to push, the therapist gave the client
the instruction, "Let your body do what it wants to do." The
client pushed back against the therapistthat is, against the external
imitation of the felt sense. The therapist pushed back. The client got
angry. The therapist and client were soon wrestling. The client threw
the therapist (i.e. the burden) off. "That feels better,"
the client reported. A big shift had occurred. The client felt lighter,
energized, exhilarated, clear. With the burden off he now "saw"
that he needed to mobilize his anger under his depressed/burdened place.
The insight had come after the shift, just as focusing theory would
predict.
In
sum, I am suggesting an addition to focusing therapy in the direction
of touch and the body. The body-oriented therapist does everything that
the verbal-oriented therapist does. He also uses his or her touch to
help anchor, amplify, and move the felt sense.
2.
Hakomi probes and Focusing
A
second "soft" technique is the hakomi probe.
Hakomi
purports to be a complete system of body-centered psychotherapy. (See
Kurtz, 1994) It was begun by Ron Kurtz who was influenced by Al Pesso,
Moshe Feldenkrais, and Eastern principles of non-violence and mindfulness.
Turning away from the hard and forcing nature of his training in bioenergetics,
Kurtz and his original trainees developed a body-centered therapy for
the 90sone that combines a background of Eastern teachings
with a Rogerian respect for the person and powerful body-oriented interventions.
A
hakomi probe is the kind of statement an ideal parent would make. For
example, "You are perfectly welcome here... Your needs are OK...
You are fine just the way you are... Everything is going to be all right...."
The
hakomi therapist delivers the probe in a ritualized way. He gets the
person into mindfulness, eyes closed, attention inside his own present
experiencing. (This is very akin to focusing.) Then, he puts his hand
on the clients chest, says his first name, and very slowly delivers
the probe: "Al, you are perfectly welcome here...". He may
repeat itwith the persons namethree times. Then he
asks for the person to report his experience.
Here
is how I combine focusing with a hakomi probe:
He has
been talking about his distrust of people in general. The talking
has started "off the top of his head" but has moved closer
to feeling:
T: What
are you feeling right now? Go inside. (invitation to focus)
Let your attention come down into your body. See if there is a word,
phrase, image, sound, or gesture for whats there.
C: Its
funny. Im feeling like I trust you!
T: Ha!
A surprise. You trust me.
C: Yeah,
but dont get cocky... I dont trust M, Z, or B! They arent
going to pull anything over on me.
T: Lets
try something. (Client nods OK) Close your eyes. Breathe. Put your
attention right here under the palm of my handis it OK if I
put my hand here? (Client nods yes) Now, pay attention to what you
experience when I say these words: Charlie, all people are your friends...
Charlie, all people are your friends... Charlie, all people are your
friends... Now, what happened?
C: (He
had begun to cry on my second repetition of the probe.) I felt my
longing to believe that. I know youve said things like that
before. But I never really feltI want to believe it! So just
now I felt the wanting, the yearning... and also that I cant
(sob)... I just cant.
T: Focus
again. Be friendly to yourself. Ask yourself, "Why not? Why cant
I believe it? Dont ask it judgmentally... but with real caring
for yourself."
C: (deep
sobbing) Because they [his parents] beat me too much, and they were
the first ones. The first models werent my friends. I cant
get beyond thatyet.
T: You
cant get beyond thatyet. ( listening )
C: Yes,
but I did feelthere is some hope. It could shift.
Here
is another example. I cannot overstate how valuable the combination
of focusing and hakomi probes really is:
She has
been talking about how she lives for others; how she doesnt
take care of herself; how she is all worn out. The talk has been getting
more and more feelingful.
T: Lets
try something.
C: OK.
T: First,
just go inside and see how you are right now (invitation to focus)
C: (closes
her eyes, takes 30 seconds, tunes in to herself) Im pretty OK,
sort of feelingful, but calm, serene, even though Im really
feeling what Ive been saying.
T: OK.
Now keep your attention inside. If its OK, Im going to
put my hand here on your chest (Client nods OK). Put your attention
right under the palm of my hand and now just listen inside and report
to me what happens when I say... Chris, your needs are OK... Chris,
your needs are OK... Chris, your needs are OK.... What happened?
C: That
was fantastic!
T: Yeah...
but what happened?
C: I
saw the house I grew up in. I saw my parents in separate rooms...
away from each other. I saw my four brothers all involved in doing
things... and I sawno one had any time for me! I even went from
room to room trying to make contact (she cries here), but no one stopped
what they were doing; no one paid any attention
T: To
your needs.
C: Right!
And they still dont. I go home and it is the same story. Damn!
To this day. Im invisible.
T: You
live your life as if everyone were your family. (interpretation)
C: What
do you mean?
T: As
if your needs are unimportant to us all...
C: And,
therefore, to myself! Damn. Im going to change that.
T: You
really have to, you know, or you are going to wear yourself out and
ruin your health. (feedback, said lovingly)
C: (cries)
I dont want to admit itbut youre right.
Notice
that hakomi and focusing are quite similar. There is only a slight change
in the energetic vibration of the session as one moves from focusing
to a hakomi probe. They combine easily together and carry the session
forward on a similar wavelength.38
As
focusing itself is a "soft" technique, its combination with
other "soft" techniques does not much change the overall feel
of the session.
Our
next examples of "hard" techniques will be quite different.
III
By
"hard techniques" Smith refers to methods of body intervention
which are neither subtle nor gentle. They may be, in fact, uncomfortable
. They "tend to be dramatic in their releasing of blocked emotion
and memories." They are of "high potency and therefore require
considerable judgment and caution... if they are to be used in growthful..
rather than traumatic ways." (1985, chap. 9) They can contribute
mightily to unblocking and disinhibiting. They are dramatic and their
incorrect use can be traumatic. Thus, they need be applied with extra
care.
Smith
discusses hard techniques from Reichian, bioenergetic, and psychomotor
therapy (see Table 2).
Table 2 Hard Technique
| Characteristics: |
neither
subtle nor gentle
can be uncomfortable
can be dramatic
high potency/high risk
force/pressure
use with care |
| Results: |
dramatic
breakthroughs
release of blocked emotions/memories
disinhibition
resumption of flow |
| Examples: |
deep
pressure on various muscles (Reich)
"limits structure" (Pesso)
mimicking "hard" feelings inside body (Focusing) |
The
flavor of hard techniquewhat it is like, what the client thinks
of it, what it accomplishesis most charmingly captured in this
long excerpt from Orson Beans Me And The Orgone. Bean describes
his first session with Reichian therapist, Dr. Baker, who has just finished
some opening chit-chat with him. I quote this at length as it beautifully
captures the flavor of a kind of work that is not all that well known
even inside the body therapy community:
Dr. Baker
sat down behind his desk and indicated the chair in front of it for
me.... "Well," he said, "take off your clothes and
lets have a look at you." My eyes went glassy as I stood
up and started to undress"You can leave on your shorts
and socks," said Baker, to my relief. I laid my clothes on the
chair against the wall in a neat pile, hoping to get a gold star.
"Lie down on the bed," said the doctor. "Yes, sure,"
said Willie the Robot, and did so. "Just breathe naturally,"
he said pulling a chair over to the bed and sitting down next to me.
I fixed my eyes on a spot of water damage near the upper left-hand
corner of Dr. Bakers window and breathed naturally. I thought:
"What if I get an erection, or shit on his bed or vomit."
The doctor was feeling the muscles (italics mine) around my
jaw and neck. He found a tight cord in my neck, pressed it hard and
kept on pressing it. It hurt like hell but Little Lord Jesus no crying
he makes. "Did that hurt?" asked Dr. Baker.
"Well,
a little," I said, not wanting to be any trouble.
"Only
a little?" he said.
"Well,
it hurt a lot," I said. "It hurt like hell."
"Why
didnt you cry?"
"Im
a grown-up."
He began
pinching the muscles in the soft part of my shoulders. I wanted
to smash him in his sadistic face, put on my clothes and get the hell
out of there. Instead I said "Ow." Then I said "That
hurts."
"It
doesnt sound as if it hurts," he said.
"Well,
it does," I said, and managed an "Oooo, Oooo."
"Now
breathe in and out deeply," he said and he placed the palm
of one hand on my chest and pushed down hard on it with the other.
The pain was substantial. "What if the bed breaks?" I thought.
"What if my spine snaps or I suffocate?"
I breathed
in and out for a while and then Baker found my ribs, and began probing
and pressing.
I thought
of Franchot Tone in the torture scene from Lives of a Bengal Lancer.
I managed to let out a few pitiful cries which I hoped would break
Bakers heart. He began to jab at my stomach, prodding here and
there to find a tight little knotted muscle. I no longer worried about
getting an erection, possibly ever, but the possibility of shitting
on his bed loomed even larger. He moved downward, mercifully passing
my jockey shorts. I dont know what I had expected him to do,
measure my cock or something, and began to pinch and prod the muscles
of my inner thighs. At that point I realized that the shoulders and
the ribs and the stomach hadnt hurt at all. The pain was amazing,
especially since it was an area I hadnt thought would ever hurt.
Notwithstanding, my feeble vocal expressions were nothing that would
have shamed Freddie Bartholomew.
"Turn
over," said Baker. I did and he started at my neck and worked
downwards with an unerring instinct for every tight, sore muscle.
He pressed and kneaded and jabbed and if I were Franchot Tone I would
have sold out the entire Thirty-first Lancers. "Turn back over
again," said Dr. Baker and I did. "All right," he said,
"I want you to breathe in and out as deeply as you can and at
the same time roll your eyes around without moving your head. Try
to look at all four walls, one at a time, and move your eyeballs as
far from side to side as possible." I began to roll my eyes,
feeling rather foolish but grateful that he was no longer tormenting
my body. On and on my eyes rolled. "Keep breathing," said
Baker. I began to feel a strange pleasurable feeling in my eyes
like the sweet fuzziness that happens when you smoke a good stick
of pot. The fuzziness began to spread through my face and head and
then down into my body. "All right," said Baker. "Now
I want you to continue breathing and do a bicycle kick on the bed
with your legs." I began to raise my legs and bring them down
rhythmically, striking the bed with my calves. My thighs began to
ache and I wondered when he would say that I had done it long enough,
but he didnt. On and on I went, until my legs were ready to
drop off. Then, gradually, it didnt hurt anymore and that same
sweet fuzzy sensation of pleasure began to spread through my whole
body, only much stronger. I now felt as if a rhythm had taken over
my kicking which had nothing to do with any effort on my part. I
felt transported and in the grip of something larger than me. I was
breathing more deeply than I ever had before and I felt the sensation
of each breath all the way down past my lungs and into my pelvis.
Gradually, I felt myself lifted right out of Bakers milk chocolate
room and up into the spheres. I was breathing to an astral rhythm.
Finally, I knew it was time to stop. I lay there for how many minutes
I dont know and I heard his voice say, "How do you feel?"
"Wonderful,"
I said. "Is this always what happens?"
"More
or less," he said. "I can see you on Tuesdays at two. Ideally
Id like to see you twice a week but I dont have the time
and once a week is more than sufficient."
I stood
up shakily and began to pull on my clothes. "Im a bit dizzy,"
I said.
"Youll
be all right," he said. "Just take it easy. Actually youre
in pretty good shape. It shouldnt take too long."
We agreed
on a price per hour, I finished dressing, shook his hand and walked
out into the waiting room. A bald-headed man sat there reading Life
magazine. He didnt look up. I wondered how long he had been
there and if he had heard my noises in the other room. I walked out
the door and down the hall. It seemed as if my feet barely touched
the carpeted halls. I came out into the air and crossed the street
into the park. I looked up into the sky over the East River. It was
a deeper blue than any I had seen in my life, and there seemed
to be little flickering pinpoints of light in it. I looked at the
trees. They were a richer green than I had ever seen. It seemed as
though all my senses were heightened. I was perceiving everything
with greater clarity. I walked home feeling exhilarated
and bursting with energy. That night I went to work at the
theater and got through the show somehow. I didnt know if I
was good or bad. I got home sometime after midnight and I knew there
was no remote possibility of going to sleep. Far from settling down,
the energy coursing through my body had increased as the night went
on, moving rhythmically up and down from head to toe. There was no
doubt in my mind that it was orgone energy or whatever the
hell name anyone wished to give it. It was like nothing I had ever
felt before and I knew that I had tapped into the strongest force
in the world. I sat by my window on the river, watching the debris
float by. I thought about life and people and kids and sex and my
ex-wife and psychoanalysis and how in the name of God human beings
had gotten themselves into the shape they were in and finally, about
five-thirty in the morning, I fell asleep. (Bean, pp. 31-36)
Let
me say right away that I dont have clients take off their clothes,
and that the eye-rolling segment and bicycle kick segment are soft and
expressive techniques rather than hard techniques. But most of the session
is a good example of Reichian hard techniques. Notice both Beans
comments on what the client is saying to himself during the work
(an equivalent ofwhat is this shit!), and how he feels after (an
altered state of ecstatic consciousness). Both the clients inner
comments on his experience of hard technique and the remarkable
after-effects of hard technique need to be given careful, respectful,
and due consideration. There can be no doubt that something very powerful
has occurred here.
One
might think that the combination of focusing and hard technique is unlikely.
After all, Dr. Baker does not sound like a focusing therapist. He sounds
like just the opposite, just the kind of therapy and therapist focusing
is the antidote for!
Yet,
empirically, it turns out that focusing and hard technique can be combined.
This is surprising. Even with its philosophical oppositeviolent,
therapist-directed, pushing there can be combining. This is an
important point.
If
focusing work is the ground, the foundation upon which therapy sits,
then a few moments of hard technique can be added to the mix.: The combination
is very powerful. Consider these examples:
C: When
I close my eyes and go inside I feel like throwing up. There is an
image of a hand over my mouth, keeping me from speaking.
T: May
I do that?
C: (surprised)
What?
T: (matter-of-factly)
Put my hand over your mouth. Ill try to do it like it is in
the image. (Notice that I ask permission to initiate hard technique.)
Let me know when I get it right, if you want to do it. Then, breathe...
and let your body do whatever it wants to do. OK?
C: (a
bit warily) OK.
T: (puts
hand over clients mouth; adjusts force until C nods head "yes"
as in "yes, thats it.")
C: (muffled)
T: Let
your body do whatever it wants to do.
(At first C collapses. I keep my hand over her mouth. For about a
minute she is rolled up in a fetal-like ball, and I am leaning over
her with my hand over her mouth. She signals to stop. I take my hand
away.)
C: Its
moved. Its in my throat now, squeezing at me.
T: May
I?
C: (gives
me an "oh my God, this too?" look) Sure.
T puts
his hand over her neck and squeezesnot as hard as he can, but
hard enough. Suddenly she starts to stir and to fight. She grabs at
my hand to pull it away from her neck, and I dont let her.
T: No
you dont. Keep it in. I wont let you out. (By now we are
in a violent tussle rolling around the roomthis is in my private
office, and it is rather large. We keep wrestling for a few minutes
until she finally uses both her hands and all her force and pulls
at my bracelet... and gets me to let go. We lay a few feet apart from
each other. She is crying and laughing wildly. I am laughing.)
In exchange
for a reduction in fee, this client wrote me two or three pages of
her reflections on each session. Hence we have her own words about
this interaction.
"The
neck thing was interesting. Actually, I knew the block has been there
for a very long time... on and off since I was about sixteen. Maybe
even way before that.
"Interesting
that when Neil held his hand hard over my mouth... I felt it familiar
and bearable (on one level). If that is what you [her partner] want
to do to me, why resist? And then as I tried to take his hand away...
I really didnt! I thought about pushing it away, and it felt
premature, like, Im not ready. It is as if I dont want
to come out mean and harsh and bad!... Some part of me at sixteen
pulled back... the sexuality part... and became held in... and has
been there all this time...
"And
then when Neil started to press hard against my neck... it was different
from my mouth. Ah ha! You want to squeeze the life out of me! That
I will not take!
"That
is when I pushed his hand away. Hard.
"So
Im willing to be shut up in a relationship, but not to give
up my life. Interesting... I felt OK during the session. Im
ready to move, to get unstuck."
Here
is another example of focusing and hard technique. Remember: much of
the background of our sessions are focusing, listening, and other verbal
methods. What I am highlighting, however, are some of the breakthrough
sessions which may combine focusing with body-centered techniques.
This
is another session that this client wrote up for me:
"2/21/89
When I went in I didnt know what I wanted to work on.
Neil gave me focusing instructions. I wasnt anxiouswhich
Ive been feeling latelybut I could feel something pushing
outand being held from within at the same time.
"Feel
that," said Neil. Definite bondage. And since it was being held
from within, I knew I had everything to do with it. I felt it particularly
in my legs! That was new. It had something to do with who I am and
who I am not. A lot of weight on my legs...
"Neil
sat on my legs. Hard. It felt normal. So I pushed him off (Im
glad Im as big as he is!) Not really knowing why I did. Then
I was suddenly sobbing and crying. Out of nowhere. This went on for
maybe five minutes.
"After
the tears, the insights: Like this is my facade, but I wont
tolerate you really believing this is who I am. I mean the wanting
to be liked. It isnt who I really am. Where does this whole
thing about being liked really come from, and why is it so important
to me? It is like a dead weight holding me down [on my legs] so I
cannot move. I mean, it is an overwhelming factor in my relationship
with the world.
"Near
the very end of the session... my legs felt very different [felt
shift]... I dont mean just from getting his weight off them...
I mean from the inside. I started to get the feeling... maybe I am
getting ready to move."
Another
example of focusing and hard technique: This one comes from a group
workshop. It is a seven-minute segment of work with a participant (This
one has elements of hard and expressive technique, which we will take
up next).
T: Go
inside and see what is there. (invitation to focus)
C: (after
30 seconds) I dont know if I can tell you.
T: You
dont know if you can tell me. (Listening)
C: The
image is so horrible... and I have it so often.
T: There
is a horrible image there, one you have quite frequently. (Listening)
C: Yeah...
OK... I see myself holding a knife and stabbing myself in the stomach
with it. The feeling with the image isdisgust. But it is what
I want to do.
T: Would
you be willing to try something?
C: (looks
at me warily) Maybe.
T: Make
a fist like you are holding a knife in your hand. (C does this) Then
let me grab you by the wrist. (She agrees) Now, you try to stab yourself,
and Ill hold you back. Ill make sure you dont do
it. [In hakomi terms, this is an example of "taking over"]
C: Are
you sure you can keep me from doing it?
T: Im
sure... but we can try it for a minute so youll see.
C: Lets
try it.
We try
it out. She struggles to "stab" herself. I am able to keep
her from doing so. We stop.
C: OK,
you can do it. Im game.
T: See
how you are inside right now.
C: Excited!
T: OK,
whenever you are ready.
She tries
to stab herself and I stop her. I also verbalize what I imagine are
the voices she hears when she has this image: "I want to be dead.
Life isnt worth it. I want out." I scream these words,
and she throws herself more and more into the self-destructive effort.
She pulls me all around the room... but she never "stabs"
herself. Her face looks fiercely angry, and I hold her wrist very
hard. After seven minutes the bell rings, and we fall to the groundthree-quarters
of the way across the roomin a heap.
The rest
of the morning she was very alive and present. She thanked me twice
for the experience. I had never seen her so relaxed as I did later
that day.
One
more example. This, too, is from a group workshop. It is similar to
the example I used in the focusing and touch section.
T: What
is happening inside you? (invitation to focus)
C: There
is all this tension... Im carrying it on my neck and shoulders.
T: Can
I be the tension?
C: What
do you mean?
T: Get
on your knees. (C does this) Ill get on your neck and shoulders
with my hands leaning on you like the tension does.
C: Oh,
I see, OK, why not?
I lean
all my weight on the palms of my two hands digging into his neck and
shoulders. At the same time I tell him to breathe and to let his body
do whatever it wants. He is a little smaller than me, and I am feeling
very powerful and energetic this morning. He starts to struggle and
fight to get from under the pressure (me)... and I wont let
him.
C: Wait
a minute.
He takes
off his glasses. Now he really goes at it. Im yelling, "You
cant get out from under me," and hes yelling, "Ill
get you off me you son-of-a-bitch." We wrestle and roll around
the floor... and just as he throws me off... I climb right back onjust
as I imagine his pressure does. We are back at it again, maybe for
five minutes altogether, and in the end we are laughing uncontrollably
after he does, for good, throw me off.
C: My
shoulders sure feel better!
T: How
about you? How are you? How are you inside? (invitation
to focus)
C: I
feel exhilarated! I havent had so much fun in years. And I feel
relaxedboy, do I put a lot of pressure on myself. But it is
not there now. I really see how I do it to myself, and how I have
to stop doing it to myself.
T: Will
you?
C: Time
will tell.
T: Yes.
It always does.
We hug.
I
want to repeat. I do not use hard techniques often. Focusing and
listening are the staples of my therapy. But the care-full use of hard
technique can really propel things forward. It is important that the
therapist be very skillful with hard technique and that he be aware
of its possibly traumatic effects.
IV
Smith
says that "the essence of the expressive techniques is taking action,
concrete musculoskeletal movement." He adds, "the action to
be growthful, however, must carry symbolic meaning." (Smith, 1985,
p. 135)
The expressive
techniques, then, involve the clients taking symbolic action beyond
the point of usual self-interruption. "The expressive work involves
movement of energy into the musculoskeletal system... support is given
to the patients acting on what he or she is organismically experiencing
as growthful or natural, rather than self-interrupting and continuing
the old pattern of avoidance. The patient is invited and encouraged
to act in spite of the voice of the toxic introject, to act in the face
of catastrophic expectation." (Smith, ibid.)
Much psychotherapeutic
expressive work is verbal, and Smith singles out the gestalt therapy
literature for this (I would agree, and add the psychodramatic.) Smith
makes the case forcefully for the need for body-oriented expressive
work to really finish the unfinished business:
When
there is self-interruption, there is some body part that has not been
put to full use. There are an arm and fist that have not hit, a jaw
that has not bitten, tear glands which have not secreted, a throat
which has not screamed, a belly which has not chuckled, a pelvis which
has not thrust... the expressive work... involves the reowning of
the missing body part. (Smith, p. 136)
Gene Gendlin
explicitly acknowledges the need to combine focusing with expressive
techniques:
Many
events, especially in childhood, generate strong emotions and at the
same time block their expression. If a child can cry, shake, and scream,
it is sooner done with a painful event. But along with bad events
children are usually also prohibited from expressing anything [that
the parent or care-giver does not want to hear]. One meaning of completing
an incomplete experience is to let these long-missing expressive sequences
happen. (Gendlin, 1991, p. 265)
Another
kind of completion concerns the interaction: what one could not tell
the original people, how one could not fight back. Incomplete interactions
need
to be completed... in therapy there needs to be room and welcome to
cry the uncried tears, to sob, shake, or move to express old pain
and fury in more than words. ( ibid.)
Therapy
must involve more than focusing on inner data in reflective inner
space. there also needs to be a movement outward, into interaction....
Moving out, rolling out [his words for expressive action] is an essential
dimension of therapeutic change that is not provided by inward process
dealing only with inner data." (Gendlin, ibid., p. 267)
However,
I do not feel that he goes far enough in providing for this expressive
rolling out. He says:
Cathartic
therapists are right to tell other therapists not to stop expressive
discharge, however, intense it may be... I welcome discharge when
it has already come. The next question is whether it should be deliberately
engendered.... On that question agreement is not so easy, and I am
not sure of the way I have chosen.... I believe that catharsis
should be an open, known, and included possibility. Beyond that I
dont believe I should engender it. (italics mine) (Gendlin,
1991, p. 265-6)
My own
experience both in private practice and group workshops is that clients
often need a lot of encouragement and cheerleading in order to get into
cathartic, expressive, or intense feeling work. The work is unusual.
It breaks certain internalized taboos. ("Dont ever raise
your voice at me; big boys dont cry; big girls dont hit.")
In my experience, if the therapist really wants expressive work to happen,
he has to lend it his energy and also find the way that helps each particular
client into it. Simply mentioning that it exists as an option is not,
in my experience, enough. The dice are too loaded against intense
expressive emotional release. The therapist needs to "point"
the client towards it.
Here
are several examples in which focusing and expressive work are combined.
1.
This is one of my all-time favorites. Both for aesthetic reasons and
in terms of its overall effect it seems to me picture-perfect.
The context
was a group workshop in which there are what we call "healing
circles". Laury Rappaport was doing the overall timing of all
the healing circles. I was leading one.
I had
worked some earlier with this woman. She had made reference to a terrible
trauma when she was eleven years old. Her mother had set fire to her
favorite dolls clothes. She mentioned especially a Barbies
blue dress.
When
she lay down on the mat she mumbled that she wanted to work on "the
Barbie dress thing." I asked her to close her eyes and tell me
what she felt (invitation to focus). She said, "apprehensive,
scared, terrified."
I asked
her to keep her eyes closed and, speaking in the present (gestalt)
tell me the story of the doll dress.
She began:
"Im eleven years old. Im sitting on the porch playing
with my Barbies. My mother has just come home from the crazy hospital.
She is upset about something. She sees my Barbies. My favorite has
on a blue dress."
At this
point, as she is talking, I signal to Laury, "bring over the
old blue bataka that is falling apart and a box of matches."
Laury doesnt know exactly what is going on, but she catches
my drift and brings over the props.
Back
to the story: "Mother is mad at me for some reason. She tells
me she is going to get rid of my doll clothes." (The story is
told with increasing agitation.) "I cry and beg her not to, but
she grabs my Barbie and takes off the blue dress. Then she takes a
match...."
At this
point I have Laury stand above her with a lighted match about to touch
the old blue bataka.
"And
she sets fire to the blue dress."
At this
point I instruct the woman to open her eyes and look straight up.
At this moment Laury sets the bataka on fire.
The woman
makes a piercing shriek that is heard throughout the workshop room,
above the din of everyone else. She loses it. She is moaning and groaning,
and moving all around, and I get down real close to her to keep her
company. This goes on for five minutes. The group surrounds her lovingly
but also gives her room as she screams, yells, punches, and kicks.
Finally, as she seems to settle down I invite her to talk directly
to her mother (Laury), who has been standing there the whole time.
"How
could you have done that? Why were you so sick? I hadnt done
anything bad (tears). That was my favorite dress. That Barbie was
my real friend (sobs). You burned her favorite dress. What kind of
a mad woman were you?"
She continues
to cry for another five minutes, those old, ancient, forbidden tears;
and then, by the time the bell rings, she is quiet, taking in the
love from the group through a laying on of hands. Her face is transformed.
She is glowing. I feel a very full contentment.
In a
letter after the workshop she thanked us profusely and told us of
the real life changes she made in the following week. They were many
and includedbuying herself a Barbie with a blue dress!
2.
The second example also comes from a healing circle at a group workshop.
It was
a mens workshop, and I had in my circle five men who had known
each other for some time. Two were twins. They asked if they could
take a turn together.
I said
yes. They told me they wanted to re-enact their birth. (They were
both quite "warmed-up" and had previously done considerable
work individually and together in psychotherapy.)
I had
them lay on a mattress and had a second mattress placed over them.
The group held the second mattress in placenot forcefullyjust
enough for it to be womb-like.
They
both must have been inside there about five minutes. There was no
big noisejust little whimpering sounds. Then one (the older
by five minutes) started to come out through an opening we gradually
gave him at one end of the mattress. He cried, like a baby, and the
group held him.
Then
there were moans and movements and crying from inside. The other twin
stayed in another five minutes and was very agitated, moving around,
whimpering more. Finally, he too came out and was also helped by the
group.
The twins
lay there, side by side, held by a bunch of men.
I asked
the second twin to focus and tell us what he had been experiencing
when he was by himself in the womb.
He said
one word "abandonment," and broke out crying. His
twin held and embraced him, and we all cried. "Im sorry.
I didnt mean to leave you. I still loved you and I always have."
The older twin said all this to the younger. They held each other,
and there wasnt a dry eye in the circle. We all sang to them:
Like
a ship in the harbor,
Like a father and child,
Like a light in the darkness,
Ill hold you awhile.
Well rock on the water,
Ill cradle you deep
And hold you while angels
Sing you to sleep.
A beatific smile came over the face of the younger twin as the older
stroked his beard, mustache, and thinning blonde hair. It was an unforgettable
scene.
3. This
one comes from my private practice:
He is
in the midst of deciding to finally separate from his wife after several
months of ambivalence. He is carrying a lot of rage. I invite him
to place his wifes face on the pillow in front of him and take
the bataka. I tell him to close his eyes and remember the last seven
months of their marriage. "Just let the memories cross the screen
of your awareness, one by one, whatever ones want to walk through."
I notice that a few tears drop, and his hands enfold the bataka handle
more forcefully. "When you feel ready, open your eyes, see Amandas
face on the pillow and let your body do whatever it wants to do."
Soon he is beating up the pillow with gusto as I cheer him on. Days,
weeks, months, years of anger, rage, and frustration come pouring
out. After awhile he stops beating the pillow and collapses into long-suppressed
tears.
When
he has had enough time with the tears by himself, I move toward him
gently and slowly and cuddle him. He puts his head in my lap and cries
even more.
When
the tears subside, I ask him to focus. We are both surprised by what
he "sees." "I see the 1954 All-star Baseball game.
My father and I are at it together. Gil McDougal has just made this
wicked wonderful play at second base." He is smiling. "Where
did that come from?" "Beats mewhat is the feeling?"
"Like, peaceful. (tears) Like I need to spend time with him and
other men (more tears). Like I need to go to a baseball game."
"Tomorrow is Opening Day." "Maybe Ill go to Fenway,
play hookey from work...My wife never liked baseball."
By this
time he is grinning from ear to ear, and it is time for the session
to end.
Notice
in these sessions how much and what variety of previously blocked emotion
is released! I dont want you to think every such session is like
this. It isnt. But when it isthere is little doubt that
something very powerful has happened.
5. One
more example from my private practice. This one allows me to at least
allude to my work with focusing, expressive work, and couples. In my
practice these days about three out of twenty sessions a week are with
couples. I have a particular way I begin a first session with couples.
After listening to each person talk for awhile about what has brought
them to me, I ask them each to close their eyes, imagine their attention
is like a searchlight, and first, just see how they each are inside.
(This is the first step, of course, of focusing.) After they have done
this, I ask for a nod of the head when they are ready to move on.
I wait
until they are both ready. Then I ask them to hold their relationship
in front of them, picture it, say their partners name over and
overwhatever will hold it in front of them -- and then I say,
"And let your attention come down into your body and see what
is the whole feel of the relationship for you... (invitation to
focus) Let a word, phrase, image, sound, or gesture form that
will match or act as a handle on the feeling inside... when you get
a handle, say it back to yourself, check it against your body, see
if it fits.... Take your time... you dont have to do it as quickly
or slowly as your partner.... Give me a nod when you are finished."
When
they have each nodded, I may ask them a further one or two focusing
questions "Ask the feelingwhats the crux of
it? What makes it this way?" "Ask itwhat does it need?
What does it need to have happen?" Or I may simply say, "Now
I want you to open your eyes, turn your chairs to face each other,
and take turnslike sharer and witnesstelling each other
what you have just experienced."
This
lesbian couple has come in because one member wants a child and the
other does not. They have done the focusing and now are readymore
or lessto talk.
T: Decide
who wants to talk first. Talk directly to your partnerunless
you want for some reason, at some point, to talk to me. Then turn
your chair so it is facing me. You two decide who goes first.
C1: (the
one who wants a child) I saw us holding a baby girl... (tears) and
the feeling was in the song lyric, "We Are Family." It was
warm (more tears), warm in a way my family never was.
C2: (she
looks flabbergasted) I saw us holding a baby girl, too. (C1 now looks
shocked) And we were playing with her, and suddenly she wanted to
go into your arms, and I felt left outjust like I always did
growing up. I also heard the lyric, "We Are Family" in my
head, and I sawwho was it?The Staple Singers singing it?
(none of us can remember who sings it!) But they all had their tongues
sticking out at me (cries).
There
is an embarrassment of riches here. Remember: It is just a first session.
I decide to go for gestalt expressive work. That is, I focus, and
see inside how to set up a gestalt expressive experiment.
T: OK.
Lets bring that doll over from the corner of the room. Im
the doctor so Ill go get it. (laughter...I bring the doll over)
Now I want you to each hold it and talk to it as if it were the baby
you may or may not have.
C1: (tears
throughout) I love you, my darling. You are the little girl I always
wanted to be. Ill take good care of you. Ill never forget
you. Ill never forsake you. We are all going to be family. (Gives
the doll to C2)
C2: (can
hardly hold her) You are going to come between us. If we have you,
Ill be the outsider the father who stays down in the cellar
watching TV. Youll prefer her to me... and you know what? (
this comes like a revelation to her)... I wont like you so much
either. (She hands the doll to me.)
T: (to
doll) Well, I guess we see where we stand at this point (C1 and
C2 nod
their heads in agreement). But dont worry. Remember: this isnt
about you; its about them. Now, this is just where we will all
start. Lets keep an open mindand open heartsas to
where we will end up.
I saw
them for seven months, once a week. They never missed a session. This
was in 1998.
Last
month I got a postcard with a baby shower announcement from them.
Table 3
summarizes the characteristics of expressive work, its results, and
a sampling of kinds of expressive work I make frequent use of, and where
each comes from.
Table
3 Expressive Technique
| Characteristics: |
symbolic
action
use of arms and legs and other body parts |
| Results: |
finishing unfinished business
going beyond point of self-interruption |
| Examples: |
Gestalt: repetition; amplification; exaggeration; presentification; "let
me feed you a sentence..."; "speak directly to_______.
Psychodrama:
role-playing; re-creation of crucial scenes
Bioenergetics: "abandonment" stress position (this is expressive and
hard)
Pesso:
accommodation
|
Characteristics:
Results:
Examples:
V
I hope
the last three sections have given you a feel for what body-centered
focusing-oriented therapy is like as I practice it.
Please
remember that these examples are illustrative, not exhaustive, and,
obviously, I have chosen to share ones I feel particularly good about.
Not all
the sessions are like these. I make mistakes. Things dont work.
I cant get a handle on what is happening. People refuse to follow
my invitations. People arent sufficiently warmed up. There is
reluctance. People just wont let themselves do it.
Therapy
is not an unending string of successful, dramatic, and stirring interactions.
If only it were!
Notes
1
This entire section follows closely the article, "Focusing and
Bodywork," which I wrote with Laury Rappaport for the Focusing
Connection . I want to acknowledge and thank Laury for her collaboration
with me on this article.
References
Bean, O. ME AND THE ORGONE. New York: : St. Martin's Press, 1978.
Friedman,
N. and Rapapport, Laury, "Focusing and Bodywork". The Focusing
Connection, May, 1985 , Vol III, No. 2 pp.1-3.
Gendlin,
E.T. "Experiential Psychotherapy " in Corsini (Ed.) CURRENT
PSYCHOTHERAPIES. Itasca: F.E. Peacock, 1973.
Gendlin,
E.T. FOCUSING. New York: Bantam Books, 1981.
Gendlin,
E.T. "On Emotion in Therapy" in Safran and Greenberg (Eds.)
EMOTION,
THERAPY,
AND CHANGE. New York; Guilford, 1991, pp. 255-279.
Gendlin,
E.T. FOCUSING-ORIENTED PSYCHOTHERAPY. New York: Guilford, 1996.
Hendricks,,
Marion. "Research Basis of Focusing-Oriented/ Experiential Therapy"
in Cain, D. and Seeman, J. (Eds.) HANDBOOK OF RESEARCH AND PRACTICE
IN HUMANISTIC PSYCHOTHERAPIES. APA, 2002.
Kurtz,
R. BODY-CENTERED PSYCHOTHERAPY; THE HAKOMI METHOD. Mendocino: Life Rhythm,
1991.
Smith,
R.E.L. THE BODY IN PSYCHOTHERAPY. North Carolina: McFarlane, 1985.
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